Carnival makes Pitt rethink CMU: 'Even lamer than we thought'
Students visiting Carnival from the University of Pittsburgh report their impressions of Carnegie Mellon have fallen, and not risen. Instead of finding CMU cool for the first time ever, students say they are disappointed by the “degree of nerdiness” and hard work that goes into Carnival.
Students at the University of Pittsburgh, henceforth Pitt because I’m not writing all that (I’m a business student don’t blame me), historically had low conceptions of CMU. Pitt students think CMU students work on problem sets and… yeah, that’s about it. CMU students don’t sleep, party, or talk to each other at all except for homework help (read: AIVs). Or so they say at Pitt, according to Readme’s confidential sources.
Many CMU students figured that there’s no better chance to prove how lit CMU is than Spring Carnival: the one time of year students have a different reason for not sleeping. Although Readme has not definitively proven by induction that there is no better way (sorry I’m a Tepper student), we can present strong evidence Pitt students weren’t as impressed by Carnival as many CMU students had hoped. “So, instead of engineering a circuit board, you engineer a tiny wheeled torpedo for short people?” a Pitt student at the Buggy races asked Readme. “That’s, like, still engineering. Lame!” In a bid to show the student something they would undoubtedly find cooler, Readme then brought this Pitt student to the Booths on Midway.
“Wow, so much work went into this!” the Pitt student told Readme, before following up with: “Imagine if the students who worked on this spent all that time partying instead. That would’ve been so much cooler.”
Readme then considered taking this Pitt student to the Mobot race before deciding that that wouldn’t help at all.
It wasn’t just that one Pitt student who was disappointed by Carnival: The opinions expressed by this one Pitt student represent all Pitt students because they are all equivalent and do not have thoughts of their own, because they do not go to a top-21 national university.