Candidates for a 51st State
In this review, we’re going to be analyzing potential candidates to annex our great country to add as our 51st American state. It’s a buyer’s market right now, with BlackRock buying the Panama Canal and Microsoft acquiring yet another acre of old-growth redwood forest to build another data center. As such, there’s been much talk down in Washington about returning to our roots by colonizing and annexing another country. With our president eyeing such tantalizing targets as Greenland, Canada, and Gaza, our staff have combed through all 195 countries, give or take and picked out choice countries to storm by force!
Canada: The obvious choice, and a fan favorite for a reason! With beautiful wildlife and scenic views, Canada contains a multitude of natural resources like fossil fuels and lumber that would certainly benefit the United States economy, as well as finally connect Alaska to the mainland U.S. and give an isolated North America the greatest tactical advantage.
Japan: An unorthodox pick, but one with just as much potential as our number one pick. Due to having the 4th largest economy in the world by GDP, Japan offers a rock solid mixed economy with an outstanding auto industry and thriving financial market. Call that retribution for Pearl Harbor!
Germany: Another top tier pick, it loses out slightly compared to the competition by being backed by NATO and the European Union and thus harder to take by force. With the highest trade surplus in the world and a bustling industry, Germany’s machine and manufacturing reputation is hard to beat. Contributing the second most to NATO, acquisition of Germany would be a boon as a cog in the machine of the all powerful military-industrial complex.
Honorable mentions:
Greenland
Palestine
United Kingdom
The Netherlands
South Africa