Also Ins

In each issue, readme publishes a series of “Also ins”, articles we’ve come up with the headline for, but don’t actually exist. Here we feature some of our best…or worst

 

 

Hot on the heels of Ben Carson’s rap ad come his newest singles, now in country and pop

Software Engineering Institute uses $3.7m grant to put dot on screen, needs further investment to center it

Van Buren refuses to leave character after BBAJ, keeps ranting about Panic of 1837

Floridian (of course) Augustus Sol Invictus promises second civil war if elected to US Senate

Chuck E. Cheese to offer hipster foods, alcohol to attract Millenials

Russia proving itself as world power by getting drawn into messy Middle East conflicts

Democrats support bill to defund Planned Parenthood, swap “u” to “e” at last minute

Pope Francis buys all donuts in Philadelphia during visit

Facebook goes down twice during TOC week, attempted blackmail by CMU student?

Alabama town bans both baggy pants and mini skirts in the name of gender equality

Scientists make THC from yeast, Red Star Yeast reports record profit

Kit Harrington seen on GoT set, claims he plays Jon Snow’s twin, “Joe Schmoe”

Orientation Prepares Freshmen for 4 Years of Bad Choices

That Economy Thing Still Not Doing So Well

Nation Gears Up to Elect One of Those Fuckers

Awful Things Happen in World

New Orleans Makes Another Bid to Become Atlantis

Romney’s slogan “Keep America American” convinces Obama not to sell country to Italy

Obama quits time travel plans, vowing “Forward not Back”

Breaking Bad has bad break

Wean Hall Sentenced to Death by Firing Squad

Nation tunes out political news hoping it will just go away and the next seven years before redistricting happens will just kind of happen while they sleep or something.

NSA employees, given the ability to stalk everyone they’ve ever known, do exactly what you’d expect.

Some Guy in Russia Nails Own Balls to Ground as Protest of Police State (really)

After Football Scandal Richard Incognito tries to go…damn, what was that word?

 

We also occasionally advertise for a variety of real or imaginary entities.

 

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