by Mark Saporta, Making Elaborate Thinkpieces Always Correspondent
In an event that will surely go down in archaeosatirical history, readme was stunned earlier this week to discover a primary-source document in perfect condition that seemed to indicate that the newspaper was originally to be called “Funyun.”
Dated May 1999, the document precedes all known issues of readme by over a year, suggesting that it was written when readme was barely even in its planning stages. Further confirmation of its vast age comes through several photographs included in the document, which, in the ancient tradition, were clearly taken by wielding a device known as a “digital camera.”
Almost immediately after uncovering the primary source, readme’s forensic team set to work decoding why the earliest members of readme may have called the publication “Funyun.” Head of forensics and current Editor-in-Chef Rin Fair*** had this to say about the matter:
“While there’s obviously still a lot of work to be done yet to try to understand the archaic, almost completely meme- and irony-free language from this new document, we believe we may understand why ‘Funyun’ would have seemed to these bygone people like a logical name for a satirical newspaper. We have evidence of two contemporaneous artifacts that are similarly named: a professional satire website named ‘The Onion,’ and a brand of fake onion-ring snacks called ‘Funyuns.’ Now, believe it or not, modern wordplay like portmanteau and puns have been around a lot longer than you might think. We think that, in a rather clever and self-deprecating manner, the founders of readme planned to call their publication ‘Funyun’ because the snack both has a name that rhymes with ‘Onion’ and is, essentially, a fake onion. Moreover, we have reason to believe that, in some way, ‘Funyun’ was an inherently funny word in their culture. They were essentially saying that the paper is a fake ‘The Onion’ in a humorous way. Either that, or it’s a sex joke. We’re not entirely sure.”
Like all of his readme co-contributors, your correspondent is delighted about the discovery of this new document, and wishes the forensic team best of luck in gleaning all the information from this important historical find as they can.
*** Hey Rin, look who’s over here taking the high road! Betcha feel bad about calling me Fuckboi Curtis now, huh? HUH?! HUUUH?!
(Whatever. It’s not like I really care what you think about me anyway. Why should I?