“It’s Raining Men”: A Critical Perspective

by Mark Saporta, Unabashed Overanalyzer

2016-10-07-3

Theory: The demographic aftermath of the events in the song “It’s Raining Men” would be catastrophic.

Primary reference: the official Weather Girls music video.

The plot of “It’s Raining Men” is, at its most basic level, that Mother Nature sends a “perfect guy” (1:55) to “each and every woman” (1:51). The world population is currently about 7.32 billion (1) and about 49.7% of those are women (2). Therefore, there are about 3.63 billion women in the world. Ignoring for the moment the physical consequences of a biomass of over a third of a billion tons ((200lbs*3.63 billion men)/(2000 lbs/ton)) falling from the sky, what would happen if literally every woman was suddenly paired with a perfect guy who had essentially appeared out of thin air?

First of all, the world population would balloon to almost 11 billion people, an almost completely unsustainable number. This massive increase in population would likely lead to mass food and land shortages, as well as a massive deficit of jobs. This resource and employment crisis would only be exacerbated by the 96.5% or so (3) of the planet’s 3.69 billion men who are straight, many of whom would have previously been married or in relationships, suddenly and permanently single: after all, how could any of them ever compete with a man perfectly tailored to each individual woman? The world would descend into chaos under the crush of angry men with little prospect of employment and virtually no prospect of sex. Anarchy, crime, sickness, starvation and despair would reign most likely for decades, until billions were dead and the state of humanity was knocked back decades or even centuries.

In conclusion, the effect of the “rainstorm”, so to speak, would be similar to that of a medium-to-large scale nuclear war, in terms of lives lost and damage to humanity in general. Truly, The Weather Girls are among the most sadistic people this planet has ever seen.

  1. http://www.worldometers.info/world-population/
  2. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_sex_ratio ref. “CIA Fact Book”. The Central Intelligence Agency of the United States.
  3. https://en.wikipedia.org/…/LGBT_demographics_of_the_United_… ref. Gates, Gary J. (April 2011). “How many people are lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender?”. Williams Institute, University of California School of Law

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