readme Gives Fleeting Moments of Happiness

Apratim Vidyarthi, Hope Correspondent

Of all the things that could be said about 2016, the year being a particularly satisfying or reassuring one is not one of them. Thus, we at readme are working our hardest, and sacrificing our procrastination time to write articles that take us away from the pain of scrolling through our Facebook newsfeeds and reading more terrifying articles about the Republican Party.

Our mail and email inboxes have been flooded with concerning emails about increasing depression, alarm, and consumption of giant tubs of ice cream, as more and more people tune into the news and immediately shake in terror after seeing the chaos. Some readers are surprised that our country harbors so many racists, sexists, and homophobes, forgetting that last conversation with their racist grandmas, or that sexist conversation with the ogling construction worker, or the continued existence of the KKK. Many readers wrote that this “Donald Trump joke is getting old.” We think so too, and more is at risk for us than for you: he is already destroying jobs in the comedy industry, since it’s really hard to make jokes when reality is just as funny and scary. Some readers complained that simply turning on the news gives them PTSD. We can only call upon the nation’s government and tell them that events today are creating a heavier burden on our medical system, and that Republicans are once again doing their best to destroy Obamacare by overburdening our medical system and then blaming it for failing.

The staff at readme understand the darkness and chaos that is engulfing this country. We understand that those who laugh at our articles do so for catharsis in a world where all other media outlets are terrifying and cause wet pants. We understand the heavy burden and responsibility placed upon us to fight this darkness, and we can proudly claim that at best, we can laugh at the insanity of this year for maybe a month or two, before we too are taken by the Trumpocalypse. Our commitment to you is that we shall make you laugh in the face of impending doom, so that you do not go gently into that good night.

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