What Should CMU Spend the Marvell Settlement Money On?

• Defending all of our other patents

• Free tuition

• Coke parties

• Moving campus somewhere warm

• Kanye’s debt

• Scott Hall 2

• Plugging all the holes in Wean

• Replace Culinart with real food

• Increase diversity scholarships (not a joke)

• Build an actual walkway to the sky

• Hire Lobster Boy full time

• No seriously, increase diversity scholarships

• Create 3 Bill Dietrich clones to raise more quarters of a billion dollars for the University

• Unearth the Cut, rebuild the bridge

• Finally clean that damn fence

• Buy Marvel Studios

• Build a statue of Captain Marvel

• Build a statue of Captain CMU

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