New Hampshire primary won by Donald Trump!
Predicts his polls will get a “big bump”
Then laughs at Kasich and the “republican establishment loser lump”
Says Rubio is “stuck in a slump”
Calls Cruz “a crappy classless clump”
And chides “Chris Christie is a chubby chub chump”
Followed up by telling Jeb “please clap” Bush to “get off this sinking ship and jump”
Next he grills Bernie for “being a grouchy grouch grump”
And heckles Hillary for “having a sad saggy hump”
This leads him bragging about his wife’s “butt being both firm and plump”
After which the Donald drops the mic and starts to crump
Suddenly! He pulls down his pants and shows off his glorious golden rump
And proceeds to take a massive onstage dump!!!
Poem by Ben Kaplan