Breaking News: GOP Debate Has Facts

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Apratim Vidyarthi, Truth Correspondent

For the first time in nine debates, the GOP debate took a shocking turn as a single candidate uttered a sentence that was rooted in reality. Frontrunner Donald Trump, accompanied by what observers claimed was a lion’s mane seated atop his head, stated that 9/11 happened under the watch of Jeb! Bush’s brother, George W. Bush. Trump took things to the next level, stating that the Iraq war was a failure which was sold to the American people through lies, lies, and “yuge” lies, and that “weapons of mass destruction weren’t discovered in Iraq.”

This clearly crossed a line for the Republican establishment. Unwilling to allow facts to be uttered at a GOP debate, leading fact-debunker Fox News lashed out at Donald Trump. Establishment candidates—who normally deny their association to the establishment—Cruz and Rubio attacked Trump, unwilling to let the man, who previously claimed that “Mexicans are rapists, though some might be good people,” get away with bringing real facts to the table.

Exemplifying the gravity of the situation, Jeb! Bush went as far as to claim that he and former President George W. Bush were actually brothers, and that despite 9/11 and the deaths of more than 5,000 American servicemen, 80,000 Iraqis, and the nonexistent capture of Osama bin Laden, W actually kept America safe.

Some say that George W. Bush and his administration had clear reason to go to war against a ruthless and crazy dictator who suppressed his people, developed weapons of mass destruction, funded terrorist groups, and endangered our allies. Of course, this country was North Korea, but because we use the Imperial system and they use the metric system, we miscalculated, and hit Iraq.

The GOP debate got heated the moment Trump lashed out with facts. Spectators also saw Cruz and Rubio, both children of immigrants who hate immigration laws, speak in Spanish and add insult to injury for those GOP debate watchers who only speak American. Some believe that these instances of facts and bilingualism will lead to the death of the GOP. Others simply watched the carnage, and like Governor John Kasich, just said “aw jeez, oh, man.”

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