CMU “Tom Sawyer-ing” the Fence

Look at all those suckers

Kwanpo Cheng, American Literature Expert

A civil complaint was recently filed by the Student Body President on behalf of all Carnegie Mellon clubs alleging that the administration had deceptively marketed the painting of the Fence as an advertising opportunity, but it is in reality only a cost-saving measure. The suit details, “By convincing the student body that painting the Fence promotes a particular club [or] organization, the Facilities Management System would not have to maintain the Fence.”


The complaint was filed after students noticed a striking resemblance between their current situation and one detailed in Mark Twain’s, “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer.” Freshman David Chan explains, “After reading Chapter 2 for my Interpretation & Argument class, I realized the [Carnegie Mellon] administration represented Tom and we are poor Huckleberry Finn, duped into whitewashing the fence for years.” The head of facilities management has declined to comment.


“What other inspiration might the administration draw from Tom Sawyer?” wonders sophomore Emily Jacobs. “I remember Tom and Becky got lost in the caves at the conclusion of the book, only to show up at their own funeral later.”


Students predict the administration will get lost in the steam tunnels and show up at graduation by 2017.

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