Be Like Bill: End Internet Flame Wars


Rin Fair, Social Media Correspondent / Bill Enthusiast

On Wednesday, November 19, YouTube user XxMRA_lyfexX encountered for the first time an image of a man named Bill choosing not to argue about something that offended him on the internet. And just like that, a movement was born.

“It was like this bell going off in my head,” XxMRA_lyfexX told Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly. “You know, here was this guy who had it all figured out. Bill’s smart. I wanted to be like him.” After an awkward pause, he added, “Uh, not you, Bill.”

Just a few weeks later, vlogger Laci Green reported an unprecedented drop in death threats. “I think my message is really starting to get out there,” said Green, who remains unaware of Bill’s social media campaign. “Last week I only got 64 death threats, and a record low 538 comments of ‘tits or gtfo.’ I haven’t had this few threats since I hit 100 subscribers!”

And the movement is only growing. A new novelty reddit account called TheWayOfBill responds to arguments in the comments sections of top subreddit threads with sage advice from Bill.

readme got an inside look at the Bill phenomenon by talking to redditor Bill4Prez, who has been supporting Bill since his early days on the net. “Bill just knows how to live life to the fullest. I heard Bill doesn’t play Candy Crush. They say he has his own life. I couldn’t believe it. Not play Candy Crush? Who still has their own life in this day and age? But if Bill can do it, so can I. So that’s been my New Year’s resolution. Not to play Candy Crush. Oh, and not to send death threats to Laci Green.” Bill4Prez leaned in confidentially. “I’ve only cheated twice.” readme backed away slowly, not wanting to know on which resolution Bill4Prez had cheated.

To determine how widespread the movement is, readme planned to go to a Humans of New York post and insult the subject to count the hateful responses. But, when push came to shove, readme couldn’t bring itself to insult someone on the internet. Bill wouldn’t want it. Flame wars are a thing of the past.

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