Thatcher Montgomery, reporting from the never-ending nights of homework
Late at night, standing in front of a broken-down grill, the Culinart workers at CM Café were nearing the end of their shift. Checking their watch, one remarked, “Only a few more minutes before we can get out of here and head home to our lives outside of CMU.”
Gathering up their belongings, the aproned chefs were about to head out when the one looked at their watch again. “That’s odd, it just changed from 1:59 to 1 again.”
“Oh yeah, it’s daylight savings tonight. Guess we gotta stay another hour,” another replied. Some grumblings were heard, but the extra hour meant an extra $6.50 to take home after taxes, so it wasn’t entirely wasted.
The students at the Café were pleasantly surprised to see that they could admire the grill in all its non-functional glory for another hour. At least there were milkshakes, although they’re often out of chocolate. Oreo’s almost as good, I su- rather, one student supposed.
As the minutes ticked by, the Culinart workers entertained themselves by watching the students alternately pull their hair out and collapse into spontaneous naps between problem sets. Finally, it was nearing 2 a.m. again. This time, they really, truly were able to return to their waiting beds. Unlike the CMU students, who still had their homework.
However, a strange feeling pervaded the air. Watching their phones, the employees were anxious for the glowing digits to change from 1:59 to 2:00, signaling the closing time of CM Café. Instead of changing as expected, the numbers went straight back to 1:00.
“Shit! We must be caught in a time loop!” they exclaimed, startling awake a snoozing student. “If we can just break out of it… but how?”
Seized with a sudden inspiration, one Culinart worker rushed over to the CMU students working on their physics homework. Looking over their shoulders, the chef could see that they were stuck on a problem regarding the continuity of the time-space continuum. The employee also notice their lack of energy and low blood sugar. “I know just what to do…”
After whipping up what delicious food was possible without the grill, the feast was presented to the students. Upon gobbling it down, they were able to produce an answer, and time started moving forward again.