Cold Weather Forces California Students to Wear Something Other Than Summer Clothes

The recent changes in temperature at CMU, while normal for Pittsburghers, have caused what is being called “a fucking ice age” for west coast students.  Normally at peace with the weather, Californians hold a rather lenient dress code.  However, the amount of skin that is left exposed to the air is far too great, and chills the body of the student thoroughly.  If the student cannot find a place to warm up, this cold could lead to hypothermia, lethargy, death, and worst of all, a drop in their grades.  Fortunately they have found a way to prevent this cold outcome, and that is by covering themselves with the ceremonial winter clothing of Pittsburgh.  However useful the new garments seem to be, they still conflict with the old ways of showing some skin, and letting the sun in.  Some students have isolated themselves in their dorms, standing around heaters wearing basketball shorts and shirts with “surfing est. 1846” on them.  Others, have tried to bear the weather without any protection.  This hasn’t gone well for them.


Other things Californians are not used to:

  • Free water fountains
  • Water, period
  • Every restaurant has FUCKING SANDWICHES
  • Every restaurant has regular sandwiches
  • White Christmas
  • Heaters
  • Haters
  • The phrase “stay warm”
  • Conspicuous lack of tens to hang

Funny? Not Funny?

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