Thatcher Montgomery, Narcissism Correspondent
It’s the time of the year again when we honor the memory of Alfred Nobel, a man who was convinced to do better by seeing an accidental obituary for himself that berated him for inventing dynamite. The result of this epiphany are the Nobel Prizes. readme is happy to say that it is this year’s winner of the Nobel Prizes.
“Hey, congratulations!” you might exclaim. “Which prize?” you might ask. Not to brag, but that would be all of them. readme excels in every area able to be excelled at. No matter what task is at hand, readme has a tool for the job.
“Even medicine?” Yes, of course. Haven’t you heard? Laughter is the best medicine, and who or what produces more laughter than readme? Nothing. readme is the epitome of laughter.
“Okay, but what about economics?” First of all, the prize in economics is technically only the Nobel Memorial Prize, created more than 50 years after Alfred Nobel’s death. But even so, readme won that one too. You see, readme’s pricing of “free” and “$3” is such a revolutionary scheme that it is disrupting markets around the globe.
“Literature?” Do you even have to ask? What are you doing right now? That’s right, reading. And what would you rather be reading than readme. Case closed.
“All the others?” Yeah, those too. Whatever other prizes there are to be won, readme won them.
Don’t you feel a warm fuzzy glow for having such a highly-regarded, well-esteemed, internationally-recognized, super-awesome publication like readme on campus? Well, we at readme know we sure do.