Parenting Fad “Walligraphy” Sweeps the Nation

”Lucy, when are you going to grow up and do your homework on the wall?”
“Lucy, when are you going to grow up and do your homework on the wall?”

When raising a child, it’s often difficult to know when to say yes and when to say no. Many times, it may seem impossible to do the right thing. We all want our kids to enjoy their childhood, but we also worry about their future. For those of you out there who can’t seem to catch a break, worry no more. The next time you see your kid start scribbling on the wall — don’t stop them. If you can do this, congrats! Your child will automatically be added to the waitlist for colleges like CMU!

“Walligraphy”, as the practice is called, is the parenting style sweeping the nation. Most parents who partake in the unconventional and controversial learning method are attempting to mimic the environment found at respectable institutions like CMU and Google. Related parenting techniques include never making your kid take off their pajamas, setting bedtime at 3 in the morning, encouraging procrastination, and providing free food and swag to entice other children to come to events.

One happy parent says: “Oh! My kids don’t use paper anymore. Instead, I let them do their work on chunks of drywall coated in whiteboard paint. Older parents question my methods sometimes, but honestly, I don’t even care. They can get their kids to use prehistoric chalk however long they want. Erasable markers are a product of the future.”

Their kid says: “My room has a filter ever since I overdosed on marker fumes.”

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