A disturbance erupted at Evgefstos on Tuesday when a first-year was denied his lunch because he had no block available. “What?” he screeched, according to eyewitnesses. “It’s almost 4 and I had breakfast at like 10:40. How can I not have a lunch block?”
Reports state that the cashier patiently attempted to explain that the lunch block goes from 10:30 to 4:00, before ducking behind the counter in terror as the first-year started throwing oranges from the stand by the register. Fortunately, the Vegan Police were on hand to manage the situation. “Not our usual gig,” said one officer, “but you don’t mess with Evgefstos.”
The young man was dragged from the scene kicking and screaming. Cries of “Who even came up with these times?”echoed through the halls of the University Center while fearful students who had been looking on in dismay couldn’t help but nod in agreement.
“The disturbance at E-V gifts—er, Egg-fest—no, Asbestos? That can’t be right… The veggie place, yeah. I heard about it,” one student said. “It is rather ridiculous,” he told readme confidentially. “Who eats lunch at 10:30 and dinner at 4:00?” As a long-time campus community member, readme had to stifle its laughter at the poor bastards still on the meal plan.