“Glad I Came Here,” Insists Freshman

Sunday, Carnegie Mellon campus swarmed with new freshmen leaving home for the first time. As the child prodigies descended upon the campus en masse, reporters from around the country struggled to gain rare interview with the young geniuses. It was only recently that readme managed to score one of these exclusive interviews with a new student, who wishes to remain anonymous. Read the transcript below.

 

readme: Thank you for meeting me today. I know you had to miss your discussion of “The Last Lecture” to be here. It’s a great honor.

 

Student: No problem.

 

readme: So, my first question is, why did you choose CMU?

 

Student: Well, let me start by saying, I’m really glad I came here. It was between this and Yale. I really could have gone to either, but then Yale… Didn’t work out.

 

readme: Okay… To clarify, you chose CMU because…?

 

Student: The people here are just so interesting! I think that’s why I came here instead. I really didn’t like my interview at Yale. I had nothing to say to the interviewer. My scores were good enough, so I don’t see why else…

 

readme: Um… are you saying you came here because you didn’t get in anywhere else?

 

Student: Of course I got into other schools! My parents really wanted me to go to Liberty because I got a full ride there, but it just seemed too pretentious, you know?

 

readme: But you didn’t get into any other top schools?

 

Student: I mean, I’m sure I could’ve gotten into Duke if I wanted to accept the waitlist spot. I think it was a mistake anyway. I should have been accepted. I mean, both my parents went there and my SAT scores were good. But I really thought CMU was the place to be. I’m so glad I came here.

 

readme: So you’re not sore at all about being rejected from Yale?

 

Student: No, I’m just so happy to be here instead. Those pompous assholes wouldn’t have been right for me anyway.

 

readme: Well, I’ll have to cut you off there, because that’s all we have time for today.

 

Student: Great. Uh… can you cut out the part where I bragged about being Salutatorian and cursed the SAT graders for not liking my essay even though all my English teachers think I’m a great writer?

 

readme: Sure, I’ll leave that out.

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