States that Feel Left Out

• Vermont,for being the only state not represented at Marco Rubio’s candidacy announcement

• Virginia, for being the only state who was unable to refuse to host Ted Cruz’s candidacy endorsement

• Mississippi, for not being able to feel superior to Mississippi

• Hawaii, for missing that special (re: geographic) connection with every other state

• Alaska, whom other states told: “You can have connected land. Just not connected to /us/.”

• Frunkleby, for not even being listed as a state on any official documents anywhere

• Rhode Island, because Rhode Island

• The Bose-Einstein condensate, because people somehow believe in only four states of matter

• Texas, for not being invited to the great nation of Reagan

• New Jersey, which wishes it had been left out of Jersey Shore

• Indiana, because of all the boycotts

• Puerto Rico, for not being a state

• Every state not on this list yet, for not being on this list. Sorry, guys.

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