More Video Camera, More Brutality

Horse Thieves. Who needs 'em.
Horse Thieves. Who needs ’em.

What, this again?


readme already covered the solution: a full video crew for every officer. Then we wouldn’t have to rely on some random dude with a phone camera. And the stolen-horse chase scenes would be way more exciting.


You’d think that they’d realize that there are enough people with cameras out there that you can’t just get away with this sort of stuff anymore. Rodney King may have been an anomaly, back in the early 90s, but these days nearly everyone has a camera.


“Yeah, back in the good ol’ days we’d just drag ‘em out back behind the shed and shoot ‘em,” old-timer Ima Ray Cyst said, to readme’s horror. “The officer safety videos, that is. Now we can film anywhere we want, using our new gadgets.”


“But we sure used to be able to strike fear into minority communities without fear of repercussions. Remember back when that dude in Alabama had a tank? Well, we have those now, too, thanks to the military sending us all their old stuff, but we have to be a little more careful about our PR when we use them.”


“Yeah, now we have to make sure to only shoot them folk who have actually done something wrong. Like the dude who was late on his child support. Because if you fuck up, you deserve to die the next time you’re stopped by a police officer. The two things are totally relevant. At least, that’s what enough people believe that it’s still socially acceptable.”


readme informed Cyst that the officer who shot and killed the fleeing man, and then apparently planted his taser by the body and claimed that they were fighting over it, had actually been arrested for murder. “Arresting a cop, one of their own? Now what sort of shitty department would do that. They must not care about the people they’ve sworn to protect.”


When readme brought up that more and more perpetrators of police brutality were being charged, Cyst was aghast. “Some sheriff in California said that he was ‘disturbed and troubled’ when he saw video of his deputies beating some horsethief? First of all, deputies and police officers are different, so this isn’t even technically police brutality. Secondly, the only disturbing thing here is that they didn’t lynch the guy. Horse thieves are the lowest of lowbrows, the scum of the earth. Back in the Wild West, he woulda been drawn and quartered and left for the coyotes. Isn’t a beating progressive, when you compare it to that?”

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