Now, folks, readme knows better than to expect sense out of viral internet memes. Still, the latest trend of hashtag hot topics has given readme pause. We mean, blue or white dresses?! Cats going up or down stairs?!?! readme hadn’t seen the internet this divided over trivial details since the release of literally any remake of a classic game ever made. Clearly, something was afoot.
readme dug deep to find the source of these memes, even making one of those big maps on the wall in the back of the AB office with strings going everywhere. It wasn’t working, until in a Red Bull-induced haze readme started seeing the wall as an optical illusion of Marilyn Monroe. That’s when it realized—the optical illusions were the key.
This in mind, readme tracked down the headquarters of the Optical Illusion Appreciation Society of America, the entrance of which is cunningly disguised as the ‘construction site’ off the UC. “Dutch graphic artist M.C. Escher!” readme declared as it burst in. “So you’re the one behind the blue-or-white dress!”
“Yes, it is I,” replied Dutch graphic artist M.C. Escher (whose “death” was the greatest optical illusion of all). “It is all part of my elaborate plot to take over the country by finding topics more divisive to the average American than current bipartisan talking points!”
“No longer will the country be divided by opinions on abortions or immigration policy,” Escher continued, “but on whether people perceive an optical illusion as a vase or two faces! And while the politicians scramble to change their platforms, my own puppet leaders will have already replaced them in positions of power!”
“You’re mad!” readme shouted back. “That is obviously a vase. How would you even get two faces out of that?”
“Look at the black parts.”
“Huh? Ohhhh. Okay, I see it now,” readme said. “Still, you’ll never succeed. readme has dozens of readers, some of whom are registered voters!” it told him. “Once they find out what you’re planning, you’ve got no chance.”
“Then I suppose I’ll just have to eliminate you here,” said Escher, opening a bottomless pit trap in front of readme. Thankfully, it turned out not to be a pit trap after all, merely an elaborate chalk drawing designed to look like a bottomless pit when viewed from a certain angle, and readme was able to escape.
And so, dear readers, readme has come to the most remote, isolated place it can think of (the basement of Wean—hiyoh!) to bring you the truth. If we band together, we can stop this nefarious plot before it even begins. Now it just needs to take the issue to print and—
Wait a minute, is that a pinhole camera in the wall behind readme—or is the wall just painted to look like it has a camera in it? Oh, God.