No, You’re Not Reading that Wrong

Hello, readers.


You may have noticed something a bit…off about the world this week. Namely, that people are actually reading the Tartan for a change. Boom!


But seriously, though, people are actually picking up way more issues of the Tartan than we normally would. Or, should readme say, the “Natrat”. For those not in the know, the Natrat is the Tartan’s special April Fool’s edition, where instead of real news they create fake news stories about the world and CMU. Hmm…now why does that sound familiar…?


Oh, right, that’s because that’s what readme does. Every other week. For the entire school year. Typically with a staff of no more than six writers per issue (and that’s being generous. Seriously, people, join readme). And then the Tartan decides it’s a big fancy satire magazine, too? Please.


But you know what? readme gets it. Sometimes it’s fun to shake things up a little bit, spread your horizons. The Tartan wants to be a satire paper? Fine. readme will just be a newspaper. Thus, we present to you the very first issue of “emdaer”, the April Fool’s readme that gives you the real news the Tartan won’t.


That’s right, folks. This week we get serious. Everything in the pages of this readme is real news about real issues pertaining to the Carnegie Mellon experience. No jokes, no silly made-up gags (okay, a few silly made-up gags. But readme didn’t make them up, so it’s okay!). If you like serious news, you should love this issue. If not, eh, you’ve come this far so you might as well give it a look-see.


To conclude, we hope you enjoy what should become an annual tradition here at readme, and have yourself a happy April Fool’s. And remember: if your roommate offers you some peanut brittle today, it’s not peanut brittle. It’s a can of snakes.

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