Women Can’t Stop Harassing Joe

Look at that hussy, daring  to be in the same room as Joe Biden.
Look at that hussy, daring to be in the same room as Joe Biden.

On February 18, the United States welcomed new Secretary of Defense Ashton Carter. While it is sure that Carter will make a wonderful addition to the cabinet, readme was unable to pay attention to the inauguration speech due to the unseemly behavior of one Mrs. Carter.


Stephanie Carter arrived in a scandalous black dress with sleeves that failed to cover her elbows, standing tantalizingly close to Vice President Joe Biden, no doubt in hopes of seducing him with her fiery countenance. As the speech began, she maneuvered herself into his arms, leaving the poor VP with no choice but to leave his hands on her shoulders and fake a smile.


readme is extremely upset with the lack of coverage in the mainstream media: how can we just stand by and watch while this woman abuses her power as the wife of a cabinet member to sexually harass an innocent man in front of our very eyes? We know that Joe Biden is a lady magnet (Remember 13-year-old Maggie Coons who infamously tried to kiss Biden to his obvious distress earlier this year?), but seriously woman, keep in in your pants.


Joe Biden is just one prominent example in a string of cases of women abusing men in the safety of the public eye. Another recent victim is John Travolta, who was violated by Idina Menzel at the Oscars when she inappropriately stroked his hand with her face onstage and by Scarlett Johansson, who wrapped herself in his embrace and pressed her cheek upon his lips while the helpless celebrity did the only proper thing he could — stared stonily into the distance until it was over.


This flagrant sexism and abuse of power cannot be tolerated if we are to progress as a society. Women are not entitled to men’s bodies, and this kind of inappropriate touching is but one of the many reasons why men feel unsafe in the public sphere. We need a system in which women are taught to respect men, rather than men being taught to defend themselves from women. As long as the current system stands, we can only expect to see more stories of poor men unable to fend off such unwanted advances. So here is readme doing its part to spread awareness.

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