readme Romance Foiled by Interloper. KAAAAHHHHHHHHHN!


Another year, another lonely Valentine’s Day. Only this year, readme’s efforts didn’t even make it to their intended target. Somewhere along the way, things got mixed up.


With great passion and love, readme wrote a carefully worded missive to its one true love, the Tartan. A question was asked about how to woo the woman of readme’s dreams, obliquely referencing our current and past relationship status with the Tartan, in hopes that she would read between the lines and see that the woman was her. After sealing the note with a kiss, readme handed it to its trusty courier, Howie, and released the message-in-a-bottle into the wild. Hopefully, the arrow of love would fly true and strike the heart of that colorful lady of print, the Tartan.


Like any hero on a quest for love, Howie faced many obstacles and dangers on his journey. Merely exiting the AB Offices where readme makes its home was difficult enough, as there were so many cool gizmos and gadgets and interior decorations that drew his attention. Once outside, he had to carefully maneuver around the trash and recyclable bins, side-step the a capella group practicing in the hallway, and hop over the janitor’s mop. Finally, Howie arrived at the Tartan’s offices, three rooms down.


It would seem that the mission was complete. However, upon opening the pages of its second-favorite paper this Monday (sorry, Tartan, but even you come second to readme itself), readme was shocked to see that the soul-baring scroll had been intercepted. Before reaching the Tartan herself, readme’s love note had fallen into the hands of one Evan Kahn. Evan Kahn? What kind of publication name is Evan Kahn? readme hadn’t heard of him before, but thinks that maybe he’s the quarterly Star Trek fan-fic magazine. Anyway, reading further with its heart in its throat, readme was horrified. It could only imagine how Evan’s hands pawed all over the words meant for one publication, and one publication only.


Not only was there an intruder in readme’s private correspondence with the Tartan, but he didn’t even seem to understand the delicate intricacies of the relationship! “Switching places on April Fool’s” refers to the Tartan’s annual cosplay as a satire publication, and readme was obviously being a weeaboo ironically, which makes it totally okay.


However, there was some useful advice. Now, readme only needs to find out if the Tartan wears colored, cat-eye contact lenses, or quotes Fruits Basket


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