Hey, CMU students, readme here. Now, if you’ve checked your Andrew email at all in the last week or so, you probably remember being spammed with advertisements for the Employment Opportunities Conference, or EOC. And unless you’re in Tepper, you’re probably starting to stress out about yet another job fair packed with recruiters who are probably only looking for business majors or computer programmers.
But never fear! As highly employable individuals ourselves, we here at readme know all the ins and outs of job fair etiquette. And, we figure, it’s only fair that we share some of this knowledge with you, loyal readers. So, without further ado, readme presents: the foolproof guide to getting hired at the EOC!
Tip 1: Dress to impress. A genuine Scottish kilt will show employers both your Tartan spirit and that you project confidence no matter what the situation.
Tip 2: Your resume has to stand out. readme recommends printing it on glow-in-the-dark paper and rigging the lights to blow out midway through the conference.
Tip 3: Regardless of what your major actually is, tell the recruiters you’re a CS or ECE major. If they press you for details, start complaining about 251 homework and you’re golden.
Tip 4: A firm handshake goes a long way. Little-known EOC factoid: if you can best the recruiter in a thumb war, they are bound by an ancient pact to hire you for whatever position you want. True story.
Tip 5: If a recruiter asks you what your greatest weakness is, take the opportunity to turn a negative into a positive. Recruiters love it when potential employees say that their greatest weakness is that they’re “too awesome”. Alternately, tell them your greatest weakness is Kryptonite–because you’re secretly Superman.
Tip 6: Do your research. Does the recruiter have a shady past you can threaten to expose or loved ones to hold hostage? Taking a few minutes to learn this information now can make sure you leave the right impression when the job fair rolls around.
Tip 7: Employers appreciate it when potential employees show initiative. So don’t just show up with a resume–have a whole interview ready. When you get through the line, let the recruiter know you’ve booked lunch for the both of you so you can discuss your job prospects. It’s in half an hour. The limo’s waiting outside.
Tip 8: There are those who say that a job fair isn’t a competition, that at the end of the day every student there is struggling to get hired the same as you. And if you meet any of them at the EOC, remember–they’re trying to get your guard down so they can take you out of the running! Go for the eyes!!