Things No One Said When They Saw the New Star Wars Trailer

“That lightsaber looks incredibly practical.”

“Needs more Jar Jar.”

“The plot looks deep and engrossing.”

“The robot totally doesn’t look like a soccer ball.”

“I hope they include the great acting and dialogue the series is known for.”

“I’m so glad Disney retconned away the entire expanded universe.”

“If only Michael Bay could have directed it.”

“They should have Shia LaBeouf play Han Solo’s son.”

“This thing better have pod races.”

“I hope there’s a long, unwieldy romance that takes up half the movie.”

“The book was better.”

“Star Wars/Frozen crossover!!!”

“I love the overuse of lens flare.”

“No trade embargoes?! But those were the best part!”

“I hope Anakin makes a return–he was the most likeable character.”

“I can’t wait for the George Lucas Special Edition.”

“Oh, hey, a villain with a red lightsaber. That’s new.”

“That trailer was so informative.”

“I hope J.J. Abrams sets this film in an alternate timeline again. No way that’ll piss off the fans.”

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