Recent Developments in “The War on Christmas”

UNSC approves NATO military action against Christmas, citing the holiday’s several acts of preemptive aggression against Yule, Thanksgiving, and Hanukkah

 

God Speaks Out: Divine support for the Christmas supporters

Festivus Pole is revealed to subsist entirely on a diet of Christmas trees

 

Santa’s hunger strike at Gitmo enters its third week

 

Russia increases missile-toe stockpiles; President warns of dangers of missile-toe gap

 

Candlelight vigil at the Clock in honor of the horrific casualties suffered by the Salvation Army

 

Obama “Too Lenient” in War on Christmas

 

In strange reversal, conservatives with flowers and peace signs are protesting war efforts


North Pole in Coalition Hands, elf sectarian violence at acceptable levels. “Mission Accomplished.”

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