Recent Developments in “The War on Christmas”

UNSC approves NATO military action against Christmas, citing the holiday’s several acts of preemptive aggression against Yule, Thanksgiving, and Hanukkah


God Speaks Out: Divine support for the Christmas supporters

Festivus Pole is revealed to subsist entirely on a diet of Christmas trees


Santa’s hunger strike at Gitmo enters its third week


Russia increases missile-toe stockpiles; President warns of dangers of missile-toe gap


Candlelight vigil at the Clock in honor of the horrific casualties suffered by the Salvation Army


Obama “Too Lenient” in War on Christmas


In strange reversal, conservatives with flowers and peace signs are protesting war efforts

North Pole in Coalition Hands, elf sectarian violence at acceptable levels. “Mission Accomplished.”

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