In a completely conclusive and objectively correct statement, Frozen star Idina Menzel told The Telegraph on Sunday that a Frozen sequel is “in the works.” Regardless of the clearly negligible uncertainties present in the field of cinema, the entire world seems to have been overcome with hype for Frozen’s non-frozen future.
The sequel, which will most likely be named Frozen 2: Let It Boogaloo, will deal with the emergence of Anna’s powers over fire and her subsequent induction into the X-Men. The film will stand as a prequel to the upcoming X-Men: Age of Apocalypse and will star Patrick Stewart and James McAvoy, who will be reprising their roles as Professor Xavier.
Test audiences have reported concerns over the sequel’s production. “I dunno,” said one anonymous wannabe critic. “It just feels like the last movie wrapped things up pretty well.
“I’m not saying that it’s a blind money grab or anything,” she went on. “I just feel like there’s a real potential here to jump the shark. I’d love to see Hugh Jackman in Arendelle and all, but I can’t help but fear that the producers might be all too happy to ride on the last one’s coattails. Do we really need another Cars 2?”
The directors of the original Frozen could not be reached for comment on Let It Boogaloo, as they were too busy being swarmed beneath an avalanche of six-year-olds screaming for Elsa toys.
Other Frozen projects are still in the works. Alongside a possible live-action ice skating show, the Frozen IP has plans for a line of frozen, Frozen-inspired hamburgers to be sold at the Magic Kingdom in Disney World. The burgers’ packaging will bear the tagline: “They can only be thawed by the power of love – and your parents’ microwave!”
Following the success of the appearance of Elsa and Anna on the popular show Once Upon A Time, Disney has also decided to contract out its popular princesses to other shows, including Spongebob Squarepants, Archer, and Sherlock. In a stronger push for Elsafication, the Magic Kingdom will now feature a “Meet Santa!” booth at the corner of every avenue, with each Santa played by an Elsa cosplayer.
An investigation of further sequels, such as “Frozen 3: Still Frozen” and “Frozen 4: Not Another Land Before Time Sequel,” returned positive, but inconclusive results.