If CMU Majors Gave Out Candy for Halloween

Chemistry majors: Candy melted when the sulfuric acid spilled on it.

 

Mechies: Bowl is full of mousetraps so children can build mousetrap cars, confused when parents call the cops on them.

 

ECE majors: Wired bowl to conduct a current, resulting in a nasty shock for anyone who touched the candy. Also surprised when the cops showed up.

 

Bio majors: Made fake samples of the ebola virus for topical Halloween prank. Super surprised when the CDC showed up.

 

MatSci: Candy is made from carbon fiber.

 

CS majors: Forgot it was Halloween, too busy finishing that 251 homework.

 

Psychology majors: Half the candy is replaced with graham crackers in a double-blind test of the placebo effect.

 

Physics majors: Knew the kind of candy they were handing out, and thus had no idea about its location.

 

Math majors: Knew that candy existed, and thus they did not have to buy it.

 

Drama majors: Didn’t buy any candy–your disappointment is a performance art piece called ‘The Descent of Man’.

 

Music majors: Can’t hear the doorbell over their own noise.

 

Business majors: Charged the kids 50 cents per piece of candy in an abject lesson on supply and demand.

 

Dietrich majors: Couldn’t afford candy.

 

CFA majors: Hasn’t been seen out of studio for three weeks.

 

Archies: Candy status unknown, nobody’s made it through the full-size Halloween maze they constructed in their front yard.

If there is a lesson to be found here, kids, it’s this: Go trick-or-treat at Pitt this year.

Funny? Not Funny?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s