Obama: Just Plain Wrong

Barack-Obama-pondering--looking-sad-Getty
 Aw, now Sadface Obama is making us sad, too! Thanks, Sadface Obama!

We all know why the world is the terrible, scary place it is today. It’s because that bastard Obama did nothing for his first six years in office (no, if we’ve said it once we’ve said it a thousand times, health care doesn’t count). Despite calling on him to be more assertive, more aggressive, more stubborn, more bullheaded, and more of an asshole, as befits the leader of the free world, he has remained calm and collected and refused to put more American boots on the ground, where they belong.

Obviously, this strategy was ineffective, because his pussy-footin’ cowardice led to the current unstable situation in Iraq and the Middle East in general. It’s his fault the hornet’s nest was stirred up in the first place. Thanks, Obama.

You see, warmongers have been calling for more military aggression overseas ever since Obama came into office. When the Arab Spring awoke, who was there to help the dictators we’ve been propping up since the 50s? When the Syrian Civil War erupted, who was there to help tear down the cruel and vicious dictator, as long as the help didn’t end up in the hands of extremists? When Putin invaded Ukraine, who was there to help beat back the filthy commies? Not Obama, that’s who.

Anyways, after twiddling his thumbs for far too long, Obama finally pulled the trigger and got us involved in another messy conflict. Air strikes in Iraq to combat ISIS, an organization that beheads journalists and whose sole goal is to establish an ultra-conservative theocratic state? You might think that we would support our quibbler-in-chief once he’s made a decision. But how could we? Obama’s plan is outrageous. It just goes too far. Or not far enough. Or in the wrong direction. Whatever the case, Obama was wrong.
Sure, he’s done something, outlining a plan in the time-honored tradition of killing the bad guys without actually declaring war. But why should we support this action? All he wants to do is bomb them into oblivion, without committing to a drawn-out ground war. Or, rather, he wants to spend our money and risk our soldiers lives getting engaged in some other nations’ conflicts. Either way, it’s not what we wanted. Maybe it’s a ruse for the mid-term elections. As such, we cannot endorse Obama’s action, just as we could not endorse his inaction. He’s a terrible president, no matter what he does. Really.

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