White Guy Gives Opinion on Ferguson, Police

Because he's probably not biased or anything.
Because he’s probably not biased or anything.

It is hard to ignore the increasing number of black people being assaulted, injured, and even killed by white police officers. Between internet awareness campaigns, an increase of violence being caught on cell phones, and highly public cases such as the Ferguson protests, it’s almost impossible to find someone who hasn’t heard of what’s going on. Almost.


“Now that you mention it,” said the wealthy white male who waylaid readme on the way to the AB offices, claiming he absolutely had to talk with it about this issue, “I have been seeing them in the news recently, all the marching and looting and things. Just terrible. I’m not entirely sure what it’s all about, though.”


After being informed about the death of Michael Brown (an 18-year-old black male, unarmed, who got into a confrontation with a white police officer and was shot six times) in Ferguson, Missouri, and the death of Eric Garner (a 43-year-old black male, who was suspected of selling illegal cigarettes and died after being put into a chokehold by a white police officer, despite being heard to say “I can’t breathe”), in New York, our source mentioned that they could have guessed it was something like that.


“I thought maybe they were reruns of the Trayvon Martin business,” said the anonymous white man, “There are just too many black folk getting themselves killed these days. You’d think people would have gotten used to it by now.”


“I mean, hell,” he added, “black people mug white people all the time, and no one gets riled up over that.” Except that people do, actually? It’s just not on the same scale because a random mugging doesn’t represent a systemic bias on the part of the people responsible for our very safety? When readme pointed this out, the man replied, “No, I saw it on Fox News and everything. They don’t give a shit. Fox & Friends wouldn’t get something like that wrong.” Also, good to know our police officers, whose job description is to protect and serve, are only supposed to be held to the same standards as muggers.


But our interviewee asserted that he didn’t see the police behavior as an issue. “I don’t see why there have been so many problems,” he said. “I mean, I’ve only been stopped once by the police, and then I just stood up out of the car and lifted my shirt to show them my concealed carry. It turned out I knew the guy, and we had donuts together after he reminded me to fix my taillight. Why can’t black people just do that?”


Upon hearing that the source had a concealed carry, readme suddenly realized that maybe he wasn’t just happy to see it, and that now would be a good time to make a discreet retreat.

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