Twitch Writes readme

pokemon_battle

A live debate was recently held between TV scientist Bill Nye the Science Guy and prominent creationist Ken Ham on the topic of whether creation is still a viable model of origins in today’s modern scientific era. The two viewpoints are, of course, diametrically opposed; according to evolutionists, the Earth is billions of years old and different species arose from the slow march of evolution, while creationists hold that the world was created sixteen days ago when Lord Helix booted up the save file. The debate was held in Ham’s state-of-the-art Creation museum, which includes such exhibits as a replica of the Vermillion City Gym and the Bird Jesus Café.

After consulting his S.S. Anne ticket, Ham opened the debate with a quote from the Reddit Log: “Up anarchy up B left right B left democracy A left anarchy B B B”. He claimed that the word ‘science’ had been coopted by atheist movements who wish to ignore the wisdom of ‘historical sciences’ like creationism. Nye, meanwhile, emphasized the importance of teaching American children to think critically in all aspects of science—a skill that Ham’s supposed ‘historical science’ does not give them. He closed by stating that, “America’s future as a technical power depends on evolution. We can’t keep pressing the B button forever.”

The debate was held in a back-and-forth format, allowing each speaker to make their points but also respond to the other’s viewpoint. Ham stressed the importance of the evidence given by the Reddit Log in determining the Earth’s age. For instance, he described how the gym wins in the Reddit Log are added up. “From Brock to Misty, you’ve got one day, from Misty to Lt. Surge, one more,” he said, which is how most Reddit historians reach the final total of sixteen days.

Nye, however, questioned the accuracy of the Reddit Log as a source. “As far as Red being able to get through the Vermillion City Gym in one try, I’m extraordinarily skeptical,” argued Nye, saying he’d known kids who spent their entire weekends learning how to beat that gym. “It’s very reasonable, perhaps, to you that Red had a hundred thousand voices working together to get him through it. But, to me, this is just not reasonable.”

Though the two speakers had taken great pains to be respectful of each other’s beliefs, the debate ended in tragedy when Nye pulled out a fossil in order to prove a point. Ham, believing Nye to be colluding with the False Prophet, accused him of trying to infiltrate a representative of the Dome Fossil into the proceedings.

“It’s actually a trilobite,” Nye responded, “but I can understand your confusion—” He did not get to say more before Ham declared him an ally of the PC and leapt off the podium to confront him. This lead to about five minutes of Ham checking Bulbasaur’s cry in the Pokédex before wandering in the opposite direction of Nye and getting stuck between the moderator’s desk and the wall. Nye used the time to encourage everyone watching the debate to join the Twitch-Plays stream of Pokémon Crystal instead, thereby rendering all the memes in this article instantly irrelevant.

Funny? Not Funny?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s