UN Unleashes WMD

Today, history has been made a third and terrible time.

In struggles such as these, humanity sees itself transformed. Four years ago, the world rose together as one and we battled wave after wave of the invading North Korean imperialists. And even as we saw some of our closest allies fall before us, lost to the hordes of Kim Jung Un, we stood our ground firmly as a country. My fellow Americans, I both rejoice and grieve for the fate of our generation; we became fighters before our time; many others, martyrs.

 

Now, we are called on to become executioners. On Monday, February 17th, 2014, the United Nations authorized inquiry leader Michael to use a third and final WMD, this time targeted directly at the North Korean leader, with the intent of ending this war through force.

 

We do not take this decisions lightly. Time after time we have fought against the use of WMD’s. Like its namesake, Words of Maximum Deterrence have proved themselves of maximum efficiency, but with consequences just as extreme. In December 16th, of 2011 the United Nations launched its first WMD in the form of a disapproving letter. Only a day later, the abashed North Koreans issued a ceasefire – but at a cost. Kim Jong Il, whom the letter addressed, withdrew into a deep depression when he realized the error of his ways, and ultimately killed himself by dying of a massive heart attack. The UN’s second WMD ended in tragedy when it misfired and caused Kim Jong Un’s uncle to kill himself by firing squad. But in those regretful actions, there was hope; we were able to negotiate the release of twenty American POWs, all of whom have been returned to their communities and their families.

 

We understood the gravity of the situation then, we understood it on Monday, and we understand it now. But in times of need, the right thing to do is often also the hardest thing to do. Yes, Kim Jong Un will probably become so despondent he will kill himself as a result of this letter. But for the good of humanity, this WMD can bring about the end of a ruthless dictatorship, and that is something truly worth fighting for.

 

Posted In

Funny? Not Funny?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s