List: Ways People Changed Over Winter Break

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Grew a soul

That one girl who you shared two classes with    last semester suddenly got a whole lot more beautiful.

Ate a couple of rare candies and evolved

Became cannibals

Became not sleep-deprived

Inexplicably decided to begin wearing a jester hat all the time

Changed the number on their phone and told everyone else but you

Bitten by a radioactive spider

Converted to Scientology

Transferred to a different major

Transferred to a different college

Emerged from their cocoon and now they’re a beautiful butterfly

Grew a coat of winter fur

Finally got that robot self to work and now they only live at CMU through Skype

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