White Male American Gives Opinion on Typhoon Haiyan


readme had the pleasure of interview John Young in Middletown, Ohio just after Typhoon Haiyan hit the Philippines this weekend. 

When asked for comment Young replied, “Is that something in Haiti again?” readme then explained that Haiyan was a typhoon that had just hit the shores of the Philippines, confirmed to have killed at least 1,500 people and possibly more accurately 10,000 people, injuring thousands more and shaking the island country to its core. 

“Oh, yeah. I remember hearing about that I think. Must be awful dealing with all that water damage. But It’s probably not that bad. No one here is talking about it.”

“Though I have to tell you, I really feel for those people. About a year ago my basement flooded and – Jesus you should have seen it. Tables, TV, couches, all just swimming in it knee high. Lost a Rolex out of it, if you can believe that. People tell you things are waterproof all the time but when shit hits the fan like that… I bet you lots of Filipinos are out there finding out their cell phones and watches don’t like water after all.” 

readme then informed Mr. Young that rescue efforts in the Philippines are stunted due to poor planning on the part of the local government and the fact that many of the relief volunteers had been personally affected by the disaster.

“That’s them Filipinos for you.” replied Young. “You didn’t see Americans slacking off during Katrina. Our government responded tout suite.” 

Aside from the fact that evacuation for Katrina didn’t take place until about a day before the storm hit, or that transferring citizens to government registered evacuation spots with sturdier architecture made no difference as the waves reached some 20 feet tall. Or that, unlike New Orleans had a much larger portion of high ground to send its citizens to, unlike the island nation of the Philippines. Or that citizens in New Orleans still refused to evacuate, causing their own deaths.

“They really need to take a page from our book. Get some democracy down there. Then they wouldn’t have all these problems. Oh, and capitalism too.” Said Young, as he slid onto the custom leather seat of his large Ford F-150 and sped away.

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