A presidential straw poll held by the conservative political group Values Voters placed Texas senator Ted Cruz firmly in the lead in terms of support for a 2016 presidential run. Now, it may seem a little early to be holding polls for an election three whole years in the future, but political elections are a lot like Christmas shopping. If you don’t start early you’ll find yourself on wacky holiday hijinks looking for a Turboman action figure.
You may remember Ted Cruz for his courageous efforts to deny citizens universal healthcare, plunge our country into debt and stagnation, and make political filibusters even more pointless than they already are. It is exactly these qualities that make him a perfect candidate for those at the Values Voters Summit, who praised his ‘no-surrender’ attitude in filibustering against a bill he voted in favor of afterwards anyways.
Unlike Cruz’s filibuster, his Summit speech was actually interrupted a half a dozen times by political protesters questioning his stance on immigration reform. Cruz used this as a chance to demonstrate his compassion of spirit, celebrating these protester’s rights to free speech before having security forcibly escort them off the premises. He commented to the crowd that “President Obama’s paid political operatives” were out in full force to stop him that day. Which is pretty low of our president, readme has to admit. Like, really, you could only afford to pay for six guys? I know we’re in the middle of a shutdown, but you really couldn’t convince Congress that the Getting Rid of Ted Cruz Fund was an essential part of the budget? Get your act together, dude.
Now, some may feel that calling Ted Cruz a top contender for the presidential race might be jumping the gun a bit, seeing as people only found out he existed like three weeks ago. But those people simply don’t understand politics. After all, it’s not like Cruz is only famous because of an isolated political stunt which effected (and yes, pedants, I am spelling that right) no real improvements on the way our government is run and will be forgotten the moment Miley Cyrus learns to make a clover shape with her tongue. No, surely Ted Cruz’s star will shine just as brightly in 2016 as it does now. He’s an icon, like, um, like that what’s-his-name, the Latino guy the GOP was so hyped up about a while back. Frig, what was he called? Um. Ah well, readme’ll remember it eventually. The point is, iconic.