Local married couple, Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Doe debated whether or not to pay their bills last week as they sat in a nearly empty single bedroom flat. Jane eyed John angrily as he explained their situation to Readme.
“It’s a complicated issue,” John said, “But I can’t help feeling that paying our bills might not be the right decision right now. There are a few bigger issues we need to take care of too.” When Readme asked what issues, Jane cut in angrily: “Like his goddamned sword collection. Ask him about it.”
Readme was able to get John to unlock the bathroom of the apartment, which he had been using to keep his weaponry. “We’ve got a closet, but it’s full up already, and since the water’s not working here anymore I figured you know…”
He changed the subject quickly, talking instead excitedly about his latest prized collection, a two-handed sword with a diamond encrusted Standing in the doorway as he spoke, Jane seemed not to listen and instead eyed one of John’s many dirks meaningfully.
The conversation continued as John and Readme stepped of the bathroom for a breath of fresh air and to give Jane space to use the grindstone. So why did Joe’s collection take priority over bills? Readme asked. “Yes, John, why?” Jane exclaimed pointedly from the bathroom as she sharpened a blade onto one of John’s scimitars.
“Well, if JANE WOULD JUST LISTEN FOR A SECOND,” John said, “it’s all about keeping me and my own safe. There’ve been a lot of reports about suspicious activity going on around this apartment, and I just want to make sure our family is secure through these trying times. By buying more swords. To protect us.”
As Readme left the apartment, Jane was last seen approaching John menacingly with a newly sharpened scimitar.