Obama announced yesterday a new plan to take care of the North Korean conflict; “Bin Laden him”. The phrase, which Obama coined at his announcement, refers to the May 2011 strike that ended Osama Bin Laden’s life.
“Yeah, I’m just gonna do what I did to that guy last time,” Obama bragged at the press
conference, “Best part is, North Korea’s got, like, no lights up past 9pm their time. Send in the Sixers, lights DOUBLY out, Jungster! It’s gonna be a piece of cake.”
“Which is more than most North Koreans can say they’ve had!” Obama crowed at the mostly stunned audience, and lifted an open palm over his head. “Haha, get it? Because they’re so poor, right, they can’t afford even one, ah, even one single piece of cake! Who’s with me! Up top!”
The president’s open hand reportedly remained unslapped for a full five minutes before a correspondant ran over and whispered into Obama’s ear, informing the president that the operation had been cancelled due to an intel leak of his secret plan.
In Other News
Vice President Biden has been missing since 10pm yesterday, eastern time.