Mass Exodus from PGH



Pittsburgh students from all over fled the city on Sunday when they returned and realized what a huge mistake they were making. Many of the recent spring-breakers were spotted at bus stops trying to sneak their ways back onto the bus.

Readme caught up with a CMU student while hiding out in the luggage compartment of a Megabus bus. “It was an eight hour ride from New York, but I figure hey – better another eight hours of boredom than months of sheer tortu- damn it!” the unnamed student said, shortly before he and the Readme reporter were discovered by an exasperated bus driver. When asked to comment on the state of affairs, the driver simply said, “You kid’s need to cut this crap out. I’m about to lose my job here.”

Pittsburgh’s airport was similarly thrown into chaos as airline passengers took a good look out the window and simply started screaming. “I… I can’t do it. I can’t go back,” a girl in a University of Pittsburgh sweater was seen moaning, “It’s so. Gray. I can’t. I can’t.”

One student, on the other hand, seemed excited to be in Pittsburgh. Daniel Smith, stepping off a plane from Detroit, pumped both fists into the air and shouted over the groans of other students “WOOO! Spring Break! Let’s do this!”

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