What Our New President Should Do in His First Term



  • Free pizza
  • Free Hat
  • Free tuition
  • Free Bird
  • Free Blow
  • Free Freedom
  • Free bears
  • Free Healthcare
  • Free Time
  • More free condoms
  • Take down Walking to the Sky
  • A tunnel to the center of the earth
  • Put a scotty-dog on the moon
  • Turn Club Hunt into an actual club
  • Make Half-Life 3 happen
  • Build a tunnel to Craig Street
  • Second Breakfast at Elevenses
  • More Nap-pods
  • Jobs for H&SS
  • A million wishes
  • Deodorant for the CS majors
  • A Pony
  • Our parents’ love and approval
  • Reading Week, not Reading Day
  • Two Spring Carnivals
  • Nicer weather
  • Magic powers
  • Gay Marriage!
  • More power outlets
  • Unlimited Free Bubblewrap
  • Less outside
  • More rainbows
  • Sleep
  • Fewer Fedoras
  • Better coffee
  • Hope
  • More Plaid
  • The return of Firefly
  • Free Tibet
  • A Hug (We never got one from Cohon)

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