Updating the Universe

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With the end of the world approaching fast, we’re going to need a new universe soon. Since this crappy universe is obviously defective, readme is making the following changes:

  1. No more cilantro
  2. Pluto is a planet
  3. New religion: Hypnotoad
  4. Cilantro is back
  5. Up and down quarks are now lemon and lime quarks
  6. Cancer gives you the power to fly
  7. Goddammit, get rid of the cilantro
  8. All horses can dance
  9. Jupiter is made of bakclava
  10. Fuck you #7, cilantro is delicious
  11. Firefly is back on the air
  12. Upvotes/Downvotes work in real life
  13. FUCK YOU #10, CILANTRO IS AWFUL
  14. All dogs go to heaven
  15. All cats can rot in hell
  16. CILANTRO IS ULTRA-AMERICAN, #13. WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA?
  17. Fuck you
  18. No, fuck you
  19. No, fuck YOUUUUUUUUUUU

This list has been stopped due to technical difficulties. It will resume when these two assholes finally resolve their differences, which is never. Wait, did we get rid of the eventual heat death of the universe? We didn’t? OH SHI-

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