The Dark Knight for Steelers Fans

The Dark Knight Rises won high acclaim across the country, except in Pittsburgh,
whose citizens are refusing to review the movie until they see the rest of the
Steelers game.

“I’m honored Batman came to the city,” said Mayor Ravenstahl, “but it’s too scary
to let my children watch; they’re too young to worry about a world where football
could get interrupted mid-game. Heinz Field getting destroyed still gives me
nightmares.”

Batman’s black-and-gold bat signal was a nice touch, a guy on the street told
readme, but two and a half hours of pre- and half-time show was going a bit
overboard, “The game kept getting interrupted by motorcycle chases and dialogue.
And what was with that woman in leather? She didn’t do any cheerleading.”

Still, Pittsburgh proved a remarkably successful filming location, reported the
director, who, instead of scripting Bane’s riots, reused footage from the last time the
Steelers won the Super Bowl.

The only issue came from an acting shortage that arose during the filming as extras
repeatedly snuck off to Wean with bottle caps, hoping to turn it into Optimus Prime
in time to fight Bane. (readme asked the Mellon Institute for comments on this, to
get a fellow building’s perspective, but the Mellon is hiding out from the paparazzi
and was unable to be contacted. It now is even harder to find than usual).

Despite leaving the Steelers game a cliffhanger, The Dark Knight Rises was an
inspiring movie, said Steelers Coach Mike Tomlin. Seeing how fast Hines Ward ran,
Tomlin now plans to introduce explosions into conditioning practice.

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