Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This is Love in WWII

Historians were startled, but really not all the surprised, to find lost love letters
written between Joseph Stalin and Adolph Hitler. The letters, old and yellowing but
in remarkable condition, were found inside a locked box in a yard sale in Germany.

“Enough stalin’,” read one letter, “I want you to be mein.” After a
controversial debate it was decided that the letters would be translated and
displayed for the public. Though the passion never waned, Stalin’s letters, once full
of sweet notes like, “you whip me into a fuhrer”, soon became icy as a Russian
winter. The relationship turned rocky in the 1940s after Hitler ignored the non-
aggression pack and invaded Russia.

Historian Rachel Jay points to several of Stalin’s letters as typical of that time
period:

“Adolf, you know I can’t purge you from my heart. But if you press me, I may
purge you from this Earth.”

“They say love is blind . . . too blind to notice borders?!”

“Dear Adolf, these days the birds songs sound sweeter, the Siberian pines
smell fresher, my citizens’ blood looks redder. Love has invaded both my dreams
and my wake. . . and it would seem your army has invaded my country. Please do
explain.”

“Back off now. Break our pact and I break your heart.”

Historians were startled by just how humanizing the letters were. The
notes transform World War Two from a gruesome and horrifying war story into
an inspiring tale of love blooming in the most unlikely places. Hollywood already
plans to turn the letters into a new romantic comedy. Tentative titles include: “Gone
with the War”, “Love in the Time of Cholera, War, Trench foot, Typhoid Fever, and
Tanks”, and “Strangelove: or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and love the Czar.”

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