Puzzle Hunt: The Most Dangerous Game

Last Saturday’s Puzzle Hunt featured startlingly gruesome scenes that prompted
rights activists to wonder why the campus still allows this tradition.

Visiting student Rachel Brown was horrified to see a pale and bloodied Waldo
running for his life, and burst into tears describing a mind teaser riddled with
bullets.

But KGB and most of the student body simply saw it as good fun. “Puzzle season only
comes twice a year,” said KGB President, ZFourney, “I don’t see why anyone would
complain. We hardly make a dent in the population.”

Certainly the club had much to brag about later. CS major Zack Styles proudly
showed off a trap he had rigged to catch jigsaw puzzles. The device resembled
a large mousetrap, with a puzzle piece in place of cheese. “Jigsaws puzzles are
attracted to each other.” Styles explained, “They like to mingle. It’s why puzzle
boxes always contain mismatched pieces.”

By the end of the day, Styles was mounting one Rubiks cube and a sudoku on his
dorm room wall, and sending the riddle “What walks on four legs in the morning,
two in the afternoon, and three at night?” away to get taxidermied.

By all accounts, senior Andrea Collins stole the day. “You won’t have to wonder
where Waldo is anymore,” she said gruffly, patting the red and white-striped torso
slung over her shoulder.

While Puzzle Hunt has been a fine old tradition since 2007, in the interest of public
image, it may find itself forced to change to suit modern sensitivities. President
Cohon has already agreed to open talks about making the sport catch-and-release
next year.

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