Campus Bathrooms Become Increasingly Automated

Prospective students visiting campus were impressed yesterday by the amount of
care and respect CMU extends to its students by automating the bathrooms. “Every
day I have so much to remember – the equation for torque, theories of relativity,”
one Physics sophomore told enthused Boston baggers, “I just can’t possibly
remember to flush the toilet myself! And getting paper towels – that’s out of the
question.” CMU bends over backwards for its students, going so far as to install
automatic toilet paper dispensers in some women’s bathrooms. “I’m stressed
enough trying to translate Pablo Neruda,” said Lisa Hale, junior, “If I had to actually
move my hand and crank the toilet paper dispenser it would just throw me over the
edge.”

Others have pointed out that given the tricky nature of traditional dispenser cranks,
CMU’s automatic dispensers are considerate to students’ physical limitations.
Automatic dispensers, which activate with the mere wave of a hand, are a lifesaver
for students without fine motor skills. CMU goes well above and beyond the normal
standard, requiring detectors to be so delicate that even students without limbs
can use them. Just the act of walking into a bathroom will set off three paper towel
dispensers and flush four toilets. Jane Lee, a senior from Pittsburgh Central High
could not wait to be able to finally be at an institution that respects her limitations
and her intelligence. “I’m thrilled to be going to a college that spends its money so
thoughtfully,” she said, “it sends just the right message!”

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