During a recent press conference, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney introduced a brand-new children’s TV show called Wall Street, stating “the wealthy should be as overrepresented in children’s television as they are in the rest of society.”
Romney added, “I believe that instead of spending 0.014% of the federal budget on programs like the show Sesame Street and other left-wing socialist dogma, we should let private corporations educate our children instead.” During the first presidential debate, he had named Big Bird and PBS as his “number one” government program to cut.
Romney continued, “For far too long have American children been inundated with Sesame Street’s liberal propaganda, like ‘sharing with people in need’, ‘talking to people who aren’t white’ and ‘Spanish.’ Wall Street will teach young children the important concepts in life, like the value of social inequality, how to nag parents to vote Republican, and why corporations are people too. Wall Street is designed to mold young children into successful, bible-thumping, gun-toting, well-adjusted adults like me”
Sponsored by Goldman Sachs, Bank of America, and Bain Capital, Wall Street features an exciting cast of puppets and investment bankers. The show will also be of interest to adults, as Romney declares that “liberal ‘adults’ will be able to follow along with their children as well, so they can overcome decades of media brainwashing.”
Wall Street will begin broadcasting on your local Fox affiliate later this fall.