Middle Earth to Mint Hobbit Coins

One coin to rule them all

New Zealand is a mythical land of dragons, elves, hobbits, and giant evil eyeballs, and until recently has been content living in the realm of childhood and nerdy fantasy. With the announcement of “The Hobbit The Movie Part 1 of At Least 3 But Likely More” to be released in theaters this December (and next December, and the one after that, and so on until Peter Jackson either dies or stops trying to milk the series for all the gold in Smaug’s lair), New Zealand decided that it wants to be taken seriously as a real place where actual non-hobbit people live.

To prove it’s totally a real country and not just an elaborate Hollywood set, the government has released what readme believes to be its first and only minted coinage in order to prove to the rest of the world that it is not Middle Earth.

Featuring Bilbo Baggins, Gandalf, Orlando Bloom, and other “popular” characters, the coins will be put into circulation at the release of the first Hobbit movie. How long they’ll remain in circulation is less certain, as collectors will be snatching up the coins as quickly as possible. Especially that asshole in 11B who goes out every weekend dressed as “Pippin, not Merry, you uncultured savage.” Yeah, Steven, we know you’re going to raid the New Zealand countryside with your foam sword and steal everyone’s Hobbit coins, thereby tanking its economy and letting Sauron take over Middle Earth. Hope you’re happy with yourself.

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