Weathering the Storm

readme knows that all of you at CMU are probably worried about the Frankenstorm. In fact, we’re sure you’re all so worried you can’t even focus on your homework (ha, right). But, never fear, readme is here with a list of tips to help you surivive Hurricane Sandy!

How to avoid hurricane attacks (a list):

  • Avoid hurricanes in their natural environment, that is to say, everywhere.
  • Don’t look down; hurricanes take this as a sign of weakness.
  • Make yourself look as big as possible.
  • Resist the urge to climb up a tree. Hurricanes are excellent climbers and will follow you.
  • If a hurricane bites you, talk to a doctor about rabies testing immediately.
  • Do not try to tame the hurricane. They are not housebroken and they will make a mess everywhere.
  • If you see a microstorm, do not touch it. Hurricanes are fiercely protective of their young.
  • Keep your food in a bag and hang it from a tree near camp so the hurricane can’t reach it.
  • Never hug a hurricane. No matter how sad it looks.
  • Stay downwind so it can’t catch your scent. Wait, actually, that might be tricky. Never mind, then.
  • In the worst case scenario, play dead. Hurricanes hunt for sport, not food; they won’t attack you if you’re already down.

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